Cow in Nineveh

Dear Diary, 400 B.C.

Today master was taking me and some of the others to the marketplace. He was bartering with some of the local shopkeepers when this very embittered Hebrew came in and started yelling. I couldn’t understand what he was saying but it was loud. All day he went around yelling at people and there were huge crowds following him. Everybody began to cry and yell too. I think even the king heard about all the ruckus that was happening and he joined in.

Before the end of the day everybody was getting all dirty and wearing bad clothes. And they stopped feeding me too. I couldn’t even drink water. Then they proceeded to put all the dirty stuff on me, I tried to run away but they ended up dumping it all on me and then putting their dirty clothes on me. After a couple of days of this nonsense I started to get really hungry and thirsty. And their bad clothes were really itchy and all the dust got in my eyes.

Eventually after much mooing and making a fuss they stopped. Then everybody stopped crying and they all got clean and put on normal clothes. It seemed so random that they all suddenly changed everything for only a few days. I wonder what that guy said that made everyone freak out for a couple days. It must have been some new fad from Israel because it only lasted for a short while and then everybody got over it. Whatever the case, it was weird. And I hope that crazy man doesn’t come back to Nineveh and cause all the problems. Now that I think about it, I think I might have seen him while I was out in the pasture. He was sitting under a gourd tree and he looked like he was having a bad time. And he was talking to himself, man, he sure is crazy.

-Moodle